I think this is the end bit

Buh Bye

Saying Goodbye

I've just had the heartbreaking news that one of my cats is dying of kidney failure. We don't know how long he has got but one day his little kidneys will just pack it in. I am not taking the news very well- I treat both my cats like my babies. They live indoors, sleep on the bed with us and we live as one little family. I have been a wreck for the past two days waiting for the news. We got the results yesterday at lunch ( I had tried to prepare myself for the worst) but is still shocked me to the core. After having a big talk and cry with the boy I thought I had it out of my system but a funny thing happened at exactly midnight. My other cat who is not so affectionate, work me up softly pawing my stomach and crying. I think she knows something is wrong and it was her little was of comforting me. This got me thinking of what our lives will be like when our other cat is gone, I will miss him so much but these things keep playing on my mind

• I will never have our special little head rub/smudge
• or our crazy dancing cheek to cheek to loud music
• He will no longer sleep- snuggled in my belly purring and crackling
• No more cuddles on the couch under the blankets
• No more crying in protest to be let out in the courtyard when I am lazing in the sun
• No more crazy 15 minutes of expelling pent up energy with his human talk
• No more lazing on the cat hammock having he belly scratched from underneath
• No more bitch slapping with his sister in the spa
• No more new collars every few months
• No more praying to the fire god
• No more struggles to get him in his cat cage for our trips to Goulburn
• No more sound of the treat ball rocking back and forth in the middle of the night, working hard for the yummy treats inside
• No more snuggling in the little cat belly with that beautiful furry smell
• No more sound of your claws clicking on the carpet
• No more peering face from behind the front door
• No more sliding paws down the door while I am in the bathroom
• No more chaseys with your sister around the house
• No more clawing up the curtains in the bedroom
• No more sitting atop the tv in the bedroom waiting for us to wake in the morning
• Just no more

I also think about how his sister will cope when he is gone- I can't fathom showing her his little dead body so she understands, or vacuuming up the last trace of his fur.

I know I should be celebrating his five special and wonderful years with us but all I can think about it everything I am about to loose.

FIRSTS
First best friend: Emma- kindergarten
First car: I don't drive, but I do pay for a subaru Forrester
First date: I wouldn't say date- maybe kissing party at age 11- all the boys
First breakup: First serious breakup was at age 16
First screen name: always tenith
First self purchased album: cassingle of Smells Like Teen Spirit- Nirvana
First funeral: Most memorable was my grandfather's
First pets: Defer and Sefer
First true love: My current love will always be my true love
First enemy: Lucy- year 4. I told her to shut her mouth and she dobbed on me!
First music you remember hearing in your house: Phil Collins
LASTS
Last cigarette: When I was 17
Last car ride: This morning to work with the boy
Last kiss: With the boy
Last good cry: Maybe I cried while watching a movie recently
Last library book checked out: I am banned from the library
Last movie seen: Fat Pizza
Last beverage drank: Miso
Last food consumed: Toast and scrambled eggs
Last crush: Troy Van Leeuwen
Last phone call: 5 minutes ago at work
Last time showered: 2 days ago- I had to hot oil treat my hair- I normally have a bath
Last CD played: The weight is a gift- Nada Surf (Gotta love advance copies)
Last item bought: Hungry Jacks last night
Last disappointment: Everyday at work
Last website visited: Pink is the New Blog
Last word you said: "Don't you love conducting experiments on the ledger"
Last song you sang: All that she wants- Ace of Base
What's under your bed: Suitcases full of clothes, hair bands, tissues, dust bunnies, sometimes the cats
What time did you wake up today: 5am, 5:30am, 6:20am
FUTURE
Who are you planning on marrying: The boy- but I want bling before I commit to anything
What will you name your kids: I already have furkids
Where are you going to live: Here
How many kids do you want: No idea
Wh! at kind of car: Saab
CURRENTS
Current mood(s): The gemini- h appy one minute, shitty the next
Current taste: what does this mean?- I can taste miso soup in my mouth
Current hair: Pony tail
Current clothes: Jeans, white shirt,pink v neck jumper, army jacket, flat shoes with polka dots
Current desktop picture: None- used to be a sonic youth picture but as I save everything to the desktop it was too hard to see
Current favorite artist: Musical- Nada Surf, QOTSA and Frank Black, Photographic- Gregory Crewdson
Current color of toenails: No colour
Current hate: Incompetent work colleagues
RANDOM
My name is: not lee or tenith
I may seem: cold
But Im really: just shy
I feel: lacklustre
In the morning: I dance to really loud music
I like to sleep: with no one touching me
If I could be doing anything right now: I would like to be in the sun relaxing in a banana lounge, reading mags
Money is: what is money? I don't seem to have any
One thing I wish I had is: More money
One thing I have th! at I wish I didn't: A bloodshot eye
All I need is: Health and Wealth
Love is: a four letter word
If an angel flew into my window at night I would: get out the gun from under the bed (kidding!)If a demon crashed into my window I would: welcome him into the circle
If I could see one person right now it would be: I don't like people much
Something I need but I don't really want is: ?
I am afraid of: axe murderers
I am deeply in love with: the boy and the furkids

Don't Call Me Imelda

Total number of shoes you own: 57

1. Adidas shelltop sneakers
2. Diana Ferrari blue baby doll flats
3. Sandler black square toe loafers
4. Beige Shoo Biz square toe high heels
5. Black ballet flats
6. Pink suede ballet flats
7. Converse navy all stars
8. Django & Juliette salmon flats
9. Candy butterfly baby dolls
10. Tony Bianco black high hells
11. Equip pink sequined thongs
12. Equip mint green sequined thongs
13. Converse one star navy sneakers
14. reef shoes
15. Jane Debster beige high heel sandals
16. black espadrilles
17. Tony Bianco kitten heel mules with flowers
18. Veronella black sandals
19. Miss shop strappy high heel sandals
20. Correli black slides
21. Paco Hemero pink slides
22. Mezzy May elastic slides
23. Lipstick black loafers
24. Navy slippers
25. Pink Ugg Boots
26. DF black kitten heels with ribbon
27. Black ankle length high heel boots
28. Brown suede ankle length boots
29. white baby doll flats with polka dot detail on toes
30. Knee high black boots
31. Red suede mules with stitching detail
32. I love billy black mules with buckles
33. Olive green suede loafers
34. Black ankle boots with stacked heel
35. Innovare black mules with tassels
36. TB baby doll black high heels
37. Black high heels with ankle straps
38. DF red tweed kitten heels
39. Beige flat mules
40. Black strappy high heels with sequins
41. Chinese Laundry Camel high heels
42. Black doc martens
43. DF black loafers
44. Miss shop purple slides with ribbon
45. TB black dancing shoes with cut out detail
46. Nine West grey flannel baby dolls
47. TB white kitten heel mules with cut out detail
48. Pink suede thongs
49. Candy black and pink sandals
50. Lipstick black baby dolls
51. Sandra Miller black suede high heels
52. Victoria lane satin high heels
53. upstage black strappy high heels
54. navy and white striped wedges
55. Black high suede heels
56. Square toed Chinese Laundry patent leather high heels
57. TB baby doll high heels

Number of empty shoe boxes you cleared out while counting up the tally: 0- I don't keep boxes- no room in my closet!

Most expensive pair of shoes: Maybe my docs, I can't recall the price $190.00

Cheapest pair of shoes: $4.50 thongs with sequins from Equip

Brands of shoes represented in your collection:See question 1

The last shoe you bought: Diana Ferrari tweed kitten heels

How many shoes you have under your work desk: Only 1 pair in my filing cabinet- black flats- only in desperation when feet are blistered and bleeding

IDIOSYNCRASIES

1. Pronouncing English words incorrectly and starting new slang within my work group
2. Recounting my bus money up to 5 times before the bus arrives
3. Checking to see if the cats are in the house before leaving for work (they are indoor cats!)
4. Stressing about getting to the shops before 9am on a Saturday
5. Not answering calls from numbers I don't know

Ewww

Last night the boy and I dined at Monkey Magic and I witnessed a guy scratching his back with chopsticks.

Unrelated incidents lead to clarity

I was trying to download Sylvia as I love Gwynnie so but all the matches related to Sylvia Saint. I thought nothing of it until I glimpsed the ad for Sexpo and noticed that Sylvia Saint is a special guest star.